Free Write
by zulka
Summary: KxH.Part 2. Sequel to Note to self. Entries, crushes, and Hiromi continues to ignore Kai.


**Free Write**  
by: zulka  
sequel to _Note to Self_  
2nd installment

December 20th

I have to start this again. I don't really want to but I have to. Well I don't really have to but this is supposed to make me feel better. I mean—well I don't really know what I mean. I don't even know what I want to write. Maybe I should not write anything. I have a pile of books to read. Julia has been bothering me so that I finally read that book of hers! I forgot what it was called. Pandas are so cute! Well the good thing about free write is that it can be random and not make sense. I can just write words and what not! Haha! Anyways I'm only supposed to do this for about five minutes. Thank goddess.

December 21th

Ming Ming just had to ask about Kai. I haven't spoken to him in weeks and I plan on not talking to him at all from now on. Well I'll still see him since Relena is his cousin—well not really but they're in the same family and it's easy to just say they are cousins because they too grew up together. I mean her brother married Kai's aunt so he and Relena are somewhat family. Except that I don't know what they would be so to make it easier on all of us they are just cousins. They act like it too. I think it's really funny the fact that Tala is actually Relena's cousin. From her mother's side. He went to live with them after his mother decided she couldn't and wouldn't take care of him. Pretty sad. But now he's going out with Julia. Class will be starting soon and I have to send this to my therapist and then my psychiatrist. Need to finish taking my medication too and I'm running out so this means I need to refill!

December 22nd

Christmas is almost here! Just three more days. I really don't like that my grandparents want to celebrate with Kai's. So not cool. Relena is leaving for Norway because her family is from there. Wish Kai would go with them. Tala is going as well. Poor Julia. I wonder if I could go to my cousins place. I love their dog. I want a dog. They are so cute. Why can't I just go stay with Johnny? Cousin Miranda, his older sister, is having a baby and I want to go…this can be my excuse.

December 24th

Christmas eve! Yay. I really do love Johnny's dog. He is so tiny and his fur is all curly and he is adorable. Ubber cute! Must finish winter break homework. Otherwise I'm doomed. Dammit. Why do I have homework? Well it's not really homework but it'll count and I'm already at odds with my teacher. Shit.

December 25th

My mom just had to call and talk to me about Kai. Says he's really sorry about our fight. Yeah Right. Kai can go jump off a cliff. This boy Garrett. He is so cute. He's one of Johnny's friends. I love his hair. It's curly! I wonder if Kai knew I cried. I hope not. That would be even more embarrassing. But then again Mathilda was saying how he would probably know since he and I were pretty close before we got to high school. I doubt it; otherwise what happened wouldn't have happened. If I'm honest, it really did hurt me.

December 26th

I'm going back home on the 30th. So I have three more days and Now I'm just really depressed. Johnny is getting worried. I really like hanging out with Garret. I really do. He's a really nice guy. He likes horses. Says that riding is one of the most wonderful things and that I should try it. He could teach me. I want to come here for summer. It would be awesome. Maybe I can get a dog this time. Or something. I don't want to see Kai.

December 30th

I need an ipod! I really do. I don't want to write this anymore. Parents are extremely careful around me now. Kai is coming by later with his parents. I really don't understand why they are doing this. Can't they see that it just bothers me to see him? I need to start reading those damn self help books. I wonder if I could transfer to Johnny's school. I want to see Garret.

January 2nd

I remember a time when Kai and I used to be really close. That was in elementary. Middle school was alright and then came High school and we are just not friends anymore. I just can't be friends with him. After what happened. I don't even want to look at him. The good thing I'm starting to feel way better. I should get a haircut. I want to spike my hair! I wanna dye it too…maybe some crazy color like hot pink or something. Highlights? Maybe. Emily is coming back. That's good. She'll want to know about what happened and I don't want to say anything. I'm getting over it.

January 3rd

One of the things I'll miss will be watching the Olympics with Kai. We've been watching those since we were little, when my older brother made us watch it for the first time. I wonder if that was why Kai went into swimming. He's really good too. Made the swimming team in both middle and high school. Emily wants revenge. But I'd rather not. People still give me looks. I wonder what Kai felt or why he even did what he did. I haven't spoken to him yet. Man this feel like a diary more than a free write. It's not as random as I thought it might have been but that's probably because all of this is in my head like right now. I am never keeping a diary ever again. I just found out that Tai is extremely pissed at Kai over what happened with me. Parents don't know still. Don't want to break their hearts when it comes to Kai. Doubt they would believe it anyways. Kai can do no wrong.

January 5th. 

Relena is back and we are spending the day together tomorrow! Yes! Only bad thing is that Kai will be there for the first half of the day. If my ankle wasn't as messed up I'd be the one driving. My ankle went bye bye playing tennis with Emily. I wonder if Relena told Kai anything about what happened. Relena is such a nice person. If anything I bet she just asked why and then left him alone. Relena is really understanding and some might even call her naïve but I know she's not. She's the type that believes in the good of people, it annoys me sometimes and it makes her laugh. I wish she was related to me instead of Tala. But at least I can make fun of him. He and Julia are still going strong and I'm glad. They make such a weird couple though since Julia loves attention and Tala likes to stay out in the shadows.

January 7th

Did I say how cute penguins were? Well they are. I need to read more books! School starts next week. I don't want to go back. Currently obsessed with Coldplay and The Shins. Johnny and Garrett started a band. Must go to their gig. So yesterday—it was okay. It was still awkward though. I guess what made me mad was the fact that Kai acted like nothing happened. Good thing Relena was there. She knew I was uncomfortable so she just made Kai drive us downtown and said she would ask Tala to pick us up. I don't think he agreed with that plan but he left. Julia's birthday is coming up! Ming Ming and I decided we would give a surprise party. We're going to ask Tala to help us. I find it funny that Tala's Real name is Yuriy but he doesn't use it. I was laughing. I hadn't laughed that much in a while. It was fun. I wonder if Julia knows this. I might get my dog! I want to be a writer now. Stupid homework. I really do hate my teacher.

January 10th

School starts tomorrow and I am so ready to take on my damn English teacher. Ha! I did all of what I had to do and I finished well I sort of finished my reading pile and now I have to read Julia's book, which she gave me already. But I'm so lazy. Kai called me today and I ignored him. I remember telling myself to never ignore Kai or my life would be in danger but I think I have a right to ignore him right now. I guess deep down I'm just scared about what he has to say. I mean Kai was an integral part of my childhood. Maybe I should talk to him and we should clear all of this up.

January 13th

I find it funny that Tala cheers for Russia during the Olympics. But since his dad is from Russia and he was born there it's understandable. I know Julia usually roots for Spain. But now I am getting off my meds which is a good thing. I don't think they do me any good. By February I should stop taking them. It makes me slightly happy. Tala agreed to help with Julia's party. Both Ming Ming and I were slightly shocked. I laugh because I remember the time Julia came to us and said "I think I have a crush on Tala Ivanov." We didn't believe her. We thought she was just playing around. I mean she went out with like Garland and stuff. Ming Ming often teases her about it. There was a point when she thought that Tala didn't really like her and that she wasn't good enough. We all had to remind her that she was cool and that Tala did like her. It was something completely different because you never see Julia nervous or anything. She's always so confident and she was freaking out about Tala. She was so scared of taking the risk. I wonder if Julia wants to do anything for Tala's birthday. We'll have to ask. I'm sure Relena would have something planned.

January 16th

No more refills after this bottle of medication runs out. Relena told me that maybe I should talk to Kai but I don't want too. I mean I'm just scared. I remember our childhood and then think back to what happened and I just don't get it. Kai and I were so close when we were little kids and then bam! He decides I'm not good enough to be friends with him anymore. It did hurt and I guess that's why I cried so much. So for spring break I am so going to visit Johnny, the only thing that makes me sad is that Garrett won't be there. He's going to go visit his grandparents up North in San Francisco. Dammit! But we've been emailing so that makes me happy. Ha! I'm passing English. Heck yeah! Take that English teacher! Still think Coldplay has some of the most wonderful songs ever! I want a dog still, one like Johnny's. His sister's baby is due next week and I know my parents will want to go. Yes! Garrett sighting opportunity! Ha. She has a baby shower the day after tomorrow and it's supposed to be a boy but we can't be sure yet. They said they'd name him Liam. I like that name. Although my favorite has to be Logan. I love the name Logan and it's not because of wolverine!

January 20th

Baby shower was awesome! I can't wait to see the baby, Miranda said that if it was a girl they'd name her Erin. That's a nice name. Johnny's going to be an uncle! I laugh because he's hot tempered. He needs a bit more patience. First semester is over and now it's the second one and the AP tests are coming in May. I'm slightly apprehensive but I am so going to ace at least two of them. I mean seriously. I have too. Well more like I want to prove to my teacher I am so awesome. Haha.

January 22th

Grandparents can you please just stop. Going to stay the weekend at Kai's because well…my grandparents suck. I will be all alone! Maybe I can tell Relena to visit. It would be so great if she can. Currently obsessed with the Shins. Girl Sailor is AWESOME! Then Phantom Limb and New Slang. Yeah. So Julia does want to do something for Tala's birthday which is like after hers. So Julia is older by like a few weeks. Ha! I always throw that in Tala's face to annoy him. My ankle is also better but I'm staying clear of tennis for now. Besides the season is over. We lost again. On a more solemn note. I heard Kai and his girlfriend broke up. I'm slightly happy. But I'm still not talking to him.

January 23rd. 

I really do love my friends. You know how it's so great when one of them does something and you're just like…I'm so glad I have you. That's how I feel right now. I don't know why but I'm so elated! I feel like I can take on the world! But this is dangerous because I might just go talk to Kai and I don't want to do that just yet. I also realized that Tala and Kai although slightly related because of Relena are not that great of friends. I mean, they get along but they're not as close as Kai and Tyson and Rei. I always thought they might be. Cannot stop listening to Girl Sailor!

January 25th. 

Okay so along with my grandparents and Kai's grandparents we are going to Newport Beach at a house his grandfather has there. I am unable to drag Relena because she's spending the weekend with her brother and Kai's aunt, Lucrezia. I really wish she could come. Seriously. I don't want to be there alone with just Kai! Okay fine our parents are coming too and so is Tai but still. Kai's sister is coming along too. Dammit! I really wish I could get out of this! Mercyside has taken over Girl Sailor! Say hello Tristania! Heck yes and they're from Norway! I wonder if Relena knows about them. Okay so we'll be leaving in a few hours. I don't want to go!

January 26th

Homework is my excuse and so is that book that Julia gave me, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Although I have my eyes on that book, Gravity's Rainbow by that one guy and not to mention so many others more! I miss Garrett. I miss everything. Now I'm getting melancholy. I wanna be a kid again. Kai has ignored me the whole time. I really don't believe he feels guilty.

January 28th

Kai and I spoke a little. He actually said he was sorry and that he never meant for it to happen. I want to cry now and I know I'm going to cry. Kai has been so integral that I really can't hate him but I can't trust him at the moment. I told him that. He simply nodded. At least we are at peace. You know how I was saying about friendship? Well it's strange, when you have those friends that you lose contact with and when you see each other again you either become friends again or you don't…well it's like that. Kai and I had our little fallout but now we are starting again. But I don't know how it will end. Grandparents and parents are still in love with the idea that we should and will get married. No thank you. Well what can I say? ABBA! Current new taste.

January 29th

The Winner Takes it All! Current favorite. I am so going to study for these AP tests. I need to pass and prove that I am awesome and great. I'm still not talking completely to Kai and Salima made the biggest most stupid comment ever! She said that I actually like Kai and that that was why his betrayal hurt me so much! She's speculating that we are both in love with each other! Craziness! I do not love Kai Hiwatari. It just wouldn't work out.

* * *

Author's note: This is a revised chapter. Fixed some mistakes and the next installment is called _**Loserface. **_Plans for this have slightly changed and there will only be two more installments, including Loserface and the final one **Emergency.**I did include characters from Gundam Wing. Don't ask why but I have the crazy idea that Noin would be a great aunt for Kai! And I've had the crazy idea to make Relena related to Tala. Hahaha.


End file.
